Everywhere
I look, the world tells me how inadequate I am as a mother. What I
should be doing, what I shouldn't. And almost everything is either
killing my child or making their brains into mashed potatoes. Like
EVERYTHING. Think of a topic that pertains to children and I'm probably
doing it wrong, from either viewpoint.
I'm
so glad I don't find my validation and worth as a mother (or a human)
in people, in this world. I'm thankful that I know exactly Where to look
to find out who I am and how I should parent.
It's
good to do your research and to even seek out advice... But don't allow
others to push their opinions or beliefs on you and in return, don't do
it to others.
In
just a one week time-span I can hear about how I'm a terrible mom if a tragedy happens to my children. How I'm killing them if I vaccinate
them or even if I don't. I've heard that I'm coddling them if I cut up
their food. Organic eating is the only way they'll ever make it out of
childhood alive. Too much screen time is turning their brain to mush...
Which it may be, but as I deal with and work through depression and
severe anxiety.... I'm sure they'd rather have mushy brains on occasion
than their momma having breakdowns and panic attacks. I've heard how my
car seats and buckling choices are incorrect and unsafe, even though I
thought I was following all the rules...
Some of these comments are all very well-meaning and great advice!
But
no wonder today's mothers are stressed out, dealing with mental and
emotional issues, or having a hard time even enjoying motherhood! We are
constantly being thrown "suggestions" on how to not accidentally kill
our children! That's a lot of pressure! To feel like EVERY single thing
we do is detrimental to the life of our child! It causes us to be hyper
vigilant to where we cannot even relax in the presence of other moms or
with our own children... And on top of that, we hear stories of moms
who weren't perfect for a moment, who didn't have it all together in a
single moment... And their worst nightmare happens! And the whole world
wants to execute you! Do you know how much pressure that puts on moms?
We
are trying to raise healthy, well-rounded adults and we have to look
over our shoulder for someone who might video our mistakes and blast
them across social media!
So
you're tired of seeing moms not discipline their unruly children? Next
time you're tempted to be angry or frustrated towards her, think about
how she's feeling, what she's thinking! "If I discipline my kids.... If I
don't do this or that... If I don't look like I've got it all
together... Will someone take my kids away? Will there be a huge social
media to-do over this decision I'm making right now? I'm trying to do
the right thing and raise a healthy human.... But is this way or that
way of dealing with it going to land me in the hot seat?" Those are just some of
the inner thoughts that go on in my own head...
Let
alone the pressure and embarrassment of seeing your usually
well-behaved child flop on the floor and screech like a banshee in front
of everyone! Let alone wishing they'd just eat the food, simply because
you don't want to hear how STARVING they are 10 minutes later. Let alone
trying to breastfeed your infant while they try to uncover everything
and pull out your hair... Just hoping someone doesn't tell you how gross you
are for feeding your baby. Let alone realizing you forgot extra pants
for your toddler and feeling bad that an employee has to clean up your
child's urine off the floor. Let alone that you haven't showered or
eaten a full meal. Let alone that you desperately want to workout and
eat healthy but 3 hours of sleep is just not enough. Let alone trying to
hold your marriage and friendships together. Let alone trying to hold
yourself together.
So
today, I want to encourage all of the mothers that love their children.
Good job. You're doing great! Don't worry about what others are
thinking! Don't try to validate your decision. You don't need to defend
your reasons for not shopping at Target or FOR shopping at Target. You
need to parent your unique children that God has given you in the way
that you and your husband feel the Holy Spirit is leading you to. We
can't possibly cover everything. There's too much. But God's grace is
sufficient for you! His power is made perfect in our weakness! (2
Corinthians 12:9) Don't lean on your own knowledge... Lean on His. He
will direct your paths... He will show you how to parent. (Proverbs
3:5&6)
Your children want your love and respect! Base your decisions off of what shows love and respect to your children and what honors God.
One of my favorite things about God is how unique His creation is! Even the snowflakes are different! How much more so are His best creation? We are each uniquely designed, which means we are raising little humans who are also unique and God has equipped you to parent your children, biological or adopted. He saw them before they were even in the womb, He knows them. He knows. Trust Him. And then take your steps. Parent in love. Offer and seek advice from trusted sources, and then weigh and measure for your own unique family.
And don't get your yoga pants bunched up over things that don't matter....
