Saturday evening the 25th of July...
I had been having contractions on and off for two days. Nothing consistent. Some were uncomfortable, some I had to breath through. But mostly it was just annoying.
My husband was working the church service that night so I went with him and followed him around. Keep in mind that I was 10 days overdue! So I was huge. And I looked like I was walking while squeezing a bowling ball between my knees. I saw pretty much EVERY person I knew and was trying to pretend I was fine... mostly because I just really didn't want to think about HOW pregnant I still was. I didn't want to be at home thinking about it either. So there I was, wearing the only shirt and pair of pants that still fit, waddling around my church's huge campus, huffing and puffing.
I had called my midwife's office that Saturday morning to get their opinion on when I should come in since, although nothing consistent, I was having a lot of painful contractions and had been since Friday morning. They told me that instead of waiting until I was having consistent contractions 5 minutes apart, I should come in when I had 6 per hour for 2 straight hours.
That Saturday evening when we got home, we went ahead and called my mom just so she could make the 1.5 hour drive and be there "just in case". They got to our house at about 9:30pm. We went to bed at 10:00 and I could NOT get to sleep. I had 4 contractions between 10 and 11 and then 8 between 11 and 12am. So I told Jeff that I'd like to go in just to be safe. We got to Hillcrest at about 12:30am.
I was dilated to 3cm when I got there. I walked around a bit and also sat on a Peanut Ball to help me dilate. I was checked every 40 minutes. After 2 hours, I hadn't dilated at all even though my contractions were picking up and gaining in intensity. They talked about sending me home and I about cried. I just wanted to have this baby already!!
My amazing nurse, Jordyn, said that she could strip my membranes and see if that helped get things going. I agreed. And when she checked me 40 minutes later, I had dilated to 5cm! This was at about 3am. From that point on, I progressed pretty quickly. I had Lavender Essential Oil in the diffuser in my room to help keep me relaxed. I tried to get up and move around or sit on the peanut ball, since they say that laying in bed can make contractions worse or can stall labor. Honestly though, there was no way I could get out of that bed anymore. My contractions we every 1-6 minutes for 4 hours, never consistent. Even when I was dilated to 9cm, I was still having inconsistent contractions! I had been dilated to a 9 for about an hour. My fantastic midwife, Kim Kmita got there at (I'm guessing, but wasn't really looking at the clock) probably about 6am and used some of her essential oils on me (Panaway and Valor 1; Young Living). That was a huge help in itself, but along with that, Kim was very encouraging through each contractions and didn't pressure me to start pushing or anything. She told me through each contractions to relax my face. I don't know if it was a mind thing or if it actually physically helps, but focus on relaxing a muscle I COULD control made all the difference in being able to endure.
I've heard that some women in labor have a certain word or phrase they say and stick to through contractions that makes them feel grounded, even if the word or phrase doesn't make any sense. Unfortunately, mine was "I can't do it!"... At one point, I looked at Jeff during a pretty intense contraction and angrily said "I can't do it!"... and always the peace in my storm that he has always been, he looked me square in the eyes and said "Baby, you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength." For half a second, I wanted to bite his head off... but he was right... and that gave me the courage I needed to keep going. It reminded me that I was designed for this. God made the human body so incredible and He created me to be able to have a child. (So thanks babe for reminding me of Philippians 4:13). Through every contraction, my wonderful mother would remind me to breath and I kept getting mad at her! She did nothing wrong though and I honestly did need that constant reminder. Just hearing her voice and Jeff's voice (and him holding my back or being where I could see him) grounded me and helped me focus. Every time I'd get a little snippy with my mom or Jeff I would immediately apologize. I was determined that I would NOT allow myself to be mean, even in my pain and exhaustion. Through one particularly difficult contraction, I made the "fff" sound... the beginning of an awful word. Jeff said "honey, it's ok... if that's what you need to say I'm not going to judge you." But I decided I wasn't going to use this time as an excuse to lose myself control. It's funny to me that I had better self-control over my words in that moment than I have in the past when stubbing my toe. *rolls eyes*
So at 9cm, my water still had not broken, my contractions were constant, and I was starting to throw up, my face and limbs were going numb from hyperventilation, despite my best efforts to breath, and I was getting WAY way over exhausted. So Kim asked me if I'd be ok with her breaking my water. I remember the question, I didn't answer though because I was so exhausted and didn't know how to say "No don't break my water... This hurts too much and breaking my water will make it hurt worse."
Obviously, that makes no sense! There's no turning back now! Either way it will only hurt more and more... Finally, Kim asked again and I nodded "yes". I had to work it out in my brain that more pain would be better than constant pain. Kim had me get up and use the restroom first...that was one of the most difficult parts of my whole labor! Jeff had to hold me up because I was so light headed.
Kim broke my water (holy bleep........... that hurt.) In between a contraction, at probably close to 7am, 5-10 minutes after that, was when the urge to push started happening.
Through the first push, I threw up.... and then Jeff almost threw up! (That's one of my favorite parts of the story because he is NOT grossed out by anything.) I think it was like a sympathy throw up type of thing...and for some dumb and hormonal reason... it warmed my heart that he was that in tune with me.
Through the second push, I did something I had been horrified might happen but had never happened with my two labors with my boys. I pooped. Noooooooo! I was mortified. For real. But no one else was and I didn't have but maybe 2 seconds to be mortified before my next contraction hit and I needed to push again.
On my 3rd push, I yelled pretty freaking loud. Like amazon woman yell. Later on, Jeff was like "Oh...so it IS kinda like the movies!"... I had epidurals with both of my boys so the effort wasn't as painful with them. Part of it was because of effort and exhaustion, the other part was that she was crowning and OH MY GOSH. ow. Pretty intense.
I don't want to scare any of you new mommas... Yes it was incredibly difficult, painful and exhausting. But I am so proud of myself for doing that. I'm so glad I did. You can do it too. And you will be so glad you did! It is such an amazing and empowering experience!
On that 3rd push, I was pushing so hard that it was pushing Ivy out too fast! I didn't even know that was a thing, but pushing a baby out too fast is something that can cause you to rip (not tear, but rip!). So my rock star midwife got pretty harsh with me "Megan. SLOW DOWN. You have got to stop pushing right now!" That kind of scared me. Because in the moment, with all of my adrenaline rushing, I thought there was something wrong with my baby. I looked at my mom, with what I can guess was a panicked face, as a laid there trying my hardest to breath but not push. Ever the momma, she reassured me that everything was ok and Kim also reassured me and explained what was happening.
So on the 4th push, at 7:24a.m. on July 26th, my beautiful, gorgeous daughter, Ivy Leanne James entered this world. 7 pounds 13 ounces. 20.5 inches. Brown hair, brown eyes. The feeling of delivering a baby is like the most relieving feeling in the world, by the way. Also, the hormones that kick in as soon as baby is this side of the womb makes for lots of tears of joy and an insane feeling of needing to protect your baby and not share with anyone.
The cord was wrapped around her body and her neck and her poor little face was bruised and swollen from coming out too fast.
They set her on my chest. The plan was delayed cord clamping (leaving the cord intact until it stops pulsing) but because the cord had been wrapped around her neck (nuchal cord) it was only attached for about a minute before Kim made the call to cut it to make sure her brain was getting enough oxygen.
They took her to the little incubator in the room to check her vitals and all that fun stuff while I delivered the placenta. For some reason, probably from exhaustion, I felt like the placenta was more difficult to deliver than the baby. Not more painful, just more difficult.
Ivy was cleaned up. I was cleaned up. Then they brought her back to me for an hour of skin-to-skin and our first nursing session. One of the nurses was so sweet to share some of her knowledge with me since I was struggling a bit to figure it out (A post on my nursing experience for the first 3 months is soon to come).
After we'd had an hour of skin-to-skin and nursing, they moved us to the next floor up into our recovery room. I was blessed to have been the ONLY woman in labor that night and one of a very few women on the post-partum floor so all of the nurses were focused only on me and Ivy. Our nurse in post-partum was Becky, who went to our church! So that was kind of cool. My midwife requested that I be put in a room with the best view (downtown Tulsa). Have I mentioned yet how awesome she is?
That day (the 26th), a lot of visitors came, which is awesome. But I didn't get sleep, at all. Nor did I sleep that night. At around 5am on the 27th I finally fell asleep. For 10 minutes before the LAB guy came in to draw my blood! (WHO DOES THAT? Could've waited until a godly hour. Could've warned me so I could put a shirt on. That's my biggest complaint from my whole experience at Hillcrest. But oh well.) That day was filled with hearing tests and other tests on the baby (I approved the vitamin K shot for her but waited on any other shots usually given at birth and I opted out of the eye drops.) and also the pediatrician came and checked her out (he was the oddest person I have ever met, so that was... fun!). Ivy and I were in perfect health so they sent us home that evening and I was SO glad. Because it had now been 48 hours since I had slept and had been about a week since I had slept longer than an hour at a time! Ivy woke up every hour that first night at home but by the 4th night... she was sleeping through the night!!!
If I were to have another child (not in the plans), I honestly don't know if I'd choose an epidural or a natural labor. There are aspects about both that I totally loved. With natural labor and delivery, recovery was about 50 times better; I got to see what my body is capable of; All decisions were made by me or with my permission, which was not the case with my first two. But the epidural with both of my boys were done incredibly well and I could feel what was happening with my body only without pain. So no pain is always a plus. But that was about the only perk. But I wonder how different my labors with my boys would've been, even with an epidural, if I would've had Kim Kmita attending instead of my first ob/gyn. Guess I'll never know!
I hope you gained helpful information through my own birth story and that it helped you to be confident in YOUR birth plan, whatever it may be. (feel free to email me: meganljames90@gmail.com to request the birth plan I used.)
I could not have gone through this all without some very incredible people so I want to give them a huge Thank You!
First, yep you guessed it: Kim Kmita! She's an 11+ out of 10 when it comes to midwifery!
My husband, Jeff, who supported the fact that I wanted to go through with a natural labor and delivery and not ONCE during the process did he suggest medication or an epidural; he was truly supportive.
My momma, there for all 3 of my babies, and encouraging throughout.
Sonda Powell, my chiropractor (I am a huge advocate for chiropractic during and after pregnancy and for baby too)... I doubt you will find a better chiropractor than mine!
Resources used: The Husband Coached Childbirth book, The Bradley Method book, Google, Baby Center, Mommy Facebook Groups.
First Look/ Them putting pitocin in my IV to help with afterbirth
Ivy Leanne James
6 weeks later: Ivy and Kim Kmita
Daddy holding Ivy for the first time
Brothers meet Sister for the first time
Downtown Tulsa; the view from our room
flowers from a dear family friend, Tonja Colombo
1st week home; my silly girl
The hospital gives all the mommies a cupcake to celebrate their baby's very first birthday!
Dear Ivy,
My darling girl, you are an answered prayer to your whole family. But especially me, your momma. Your name means Faithful. God has been so faithful to give me the desires of my heart in having a little girl. I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.
Love, Mommy
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