Little Truth Bombs

I am a parent.

I have been parented.

I am an observer of parents.

And the thing I always notice is that children appreciate honesty. They appreciate when you explain the truth to them. They appreciate when you tell them right from wrong. They appreciate when you explain "why".  Obviously, there are times when a child is too young to know a whole truth simply because they are not yet capable of understanding or grasping a concept (sex, for example, is not an appropriate topic for a young child.). But there will come a day when they can understand some of those deeper subjects, and at that point... honesty is the best policy.

But even further than just honesty... I think humbling yourself and being honest about your mistakes is one of the greatest things you can do for your child.

My biggest downfall is my self-control. Specifically, my ability to control my anger. Being angry is OK. But my reaction TO my anger is my problem. 

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, -Ephesians 4:26

because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires -James 1:20

I fail daily at my reaction to anger. I throw giant fits that could rival a 2 year old. Yelling, slamming doors, and flinging objects. UHG.

And I hate myself afterwards! I feel such shame. God definitely deals with me over it.

But most recently, I have seen my very own actions mirrored in my 4 year old. 

Ouch.

Recently, my 4 year old, Ian, threw a huge fit over something. There was over-reacting, screaming, stomping, angry faces, and mean words. He was disciplined for it. But then when I sat down with him to discuss the "why"... 

I looked at his angry, teary face and I said, "Ian. Mommy needs to tell you something. I am sorry. I have been a bad example to you. Do I throw fits sometimes? Do I yell sometimes?" 

"...yes..."

Then I asked a question that I was a little afraid to know the answer to, "How does it make you feel when Mommy acts like that?"

"It makes me sad."

Straight to the heart.

"Well Mommy is very wrong when I act like that. I am sorry that it makes you sad and I am sorry I am a bad example. Will you forgive me? Let's both work on being better when we are angry."

Ian was surprised at the turn our conversation took, I could tell. But I saw him go from having a frustrated and angry face... to a face of peace. It gave him peace that I confessed my sin, my deepest problem, to him. I trusted him with the truth of my issues. I was honest about my downfall. I humbled myself and showed him that even mommy makes mistakes. Even mommy has to say she's sorry. Even mommy has things to fix. I'm glad I had that conversation with him.

Because a couple of days later, my boys were arguing and were being very loud and I was trying to get their attention and it just wasn't happening. So I yelled to make myself heard. Before I could go on, my new accountability partner says, "Mommy... remember, we are supposed to be kind."

What if I would have saved my pride and NOT had that conversation with my 4 year old? I would've been a hypocrite, first off. Second, he and I both would've missed a growing opportunity. And third, I wouldn't have been reminded at a later point that we are supposed to be kind.

Parents don't give their kids enough credit. Kids are little truth bombs. They like to point out the truth all the time.

 In the store: "*loudly* Mommy, you just farted!"

 At home: "Mommy you're squishy!"

 When friends are over "Did you know I can pee standing up now? Just like daddy!" 

 ...

So why not give them some truths that YOU need to hear? What is your downfall; your issue? Speak the Truth around them and those little boogers will kindly repeat it back to you when you need to hear it! Usually at the moment you least want to hear it. 

This isn't to say that you should share your darkest secrets with your children. It just means that if there is an issue that you have that your kids can see, you should probably be honest with them about it.